Breaking Free from People Pleasing: Understanding the Link with Childhood and How to Address It

Posted On: July 1, 2024

Breaking Free

Do you find yourself constantly putting others’ needs before your own? Do you struggle to say no, even when it’s not in your best interest? If so, you may have people pleaser tendencies. In this blog, we’ll explore the link between people pleasing and childhood upbringing and provide tips on how to address these tendencies.

The Link with Childhood Upbringing

People pleaser tendencies often stem from childhood experiences. Children who grow up in households where their needs are ignored or dismissed may learn to prioritize others’ needs over their own. Additionally, children who receive praise and validation for pleasing others may develop a pattern of seeking external validation through people pleasing.

How to Address People Pleaser Tendencies

  1. Recognize Your Patterns – The first step in addressing people pleaser tendencies is to recognize when you’re engaging in them. Pay attention to your thoughts and behaviors when you’re interacting with others. Are you saying yes when you want to say no? Are you putting others’ needs before your own?
  2. Set Boundaries – Setting boundaries is essential for breaking free from people pleasing. Start by identifying your values and priorities, and use them as a guide for setting boundaries. When someone asks you to do something that doesn’t align with your values or priorities, say no.
  3. Practice Self-Care – People pleasers often neglect their own needs in favor of others’. Practicing self-care is essential for breaking this pattern. Make time for activities that make you feel good, such as exercise, meditation, or spending time with friends.
  4. Seek Support – Breaking free from people pleaser tendencies can be challenging, especially if they’re deeply ingrained. Don’t hesitate to seek support from a partner or a relationship counselor. A counselor can help you identify the root causes of your people pleasing tendencies and develop strategies for breaking free.

If you’re struggling with people pleaser tendencies, don’t hesitate to seek support from a professional. Our private consultations offer personalized support and guidance for breaking free from people pleasing and improving communication in relationships.

We hope you enjoyed this article. Do book a free 15 min consult with us to get support on improving your personal relationships!

For relationship counseling and/ or sexuality counseling, do contact us here. 

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